The "No Questions Asked Rule"

[mahogany]

So I know that the kids are still young, but I’d be lying if I said that we haven’t considered what we’re going to do when they hit teenagehood. On the one hand, we’re both want a better relationship than we had with our parents. On the other hand, we want to make sure that the kids don’t confuse our understanding where they’re coming from, with condoning some of the things they might do.

Which brings me to the “No Questions Asked Policy”. Some of my friends in highschool had this happening with their parents. And in speaking with friends of mine that have teenaged children now, this philsophy is very much alive and well. If they were out and they had had too much to drink, or something had gone awry, they were to call their parents, and the parents would come get them - no questions asked. With some of my firends this acually worked pretty well. They were sensible kids who occassionally took things too far, and the parents stuck to their word (although it must have been hell), and didn’t ask questions, and didn’t bring up the incident.

But there were a few weren’t so level headed and they got into some pretty heavy drugs in a big way. At what point does the getting my kids home safely, and keeping open lines of communication turn into condoning dangerous behaviour, or enabling them? At what point should a parent break that trust?

Comments

[mahogany.livejournal.com]

It sounds like your parents had built a pretty strong foundation. I guess a lot of our fears stem from the fact that we didn't have that kind of trust relationship with our parents, so it's a source of some anxiety. But yeah, I agree with you, that the solid foundation now is totally one of the keys.

The lady in my default user pic is my favorite opera singer - Leontyne Price (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leontyne_Price). She's long retired, but in my eyes, she hasn't had an equal, and she's the reason that I love Verdi. The photo I'm using right now is me (well, me two years ago with a helluva lot of makeup and a great photographer). :-)

[waiting4it2snow.livejournal.com]

you're just as beautiful as I thought you would be! :)

[mahogany.livejournal.com]

Awww. You're so sweet. I look a bit different now, though. My hair is short, and I wear it in a spiky 'fro.

[gentlemaitresse.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad I saw this comment so I could see your photo. You are beautiful, though you're younger than I'd pictured you. :-)

[mahogany.livejournal.com]

That's very kind on both fronts, thank you. I'm 31.

Perhaps you formed the impression of my being older from my user pics. They're all female musicians that are either old now, or dead (Well, except for Grace Jones. I think she's middle aged).

[machy.livejournal.com]

I am embarressed I didn't know that. You are beautiful. :)