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All opinions welcome
Aug. 10th, 2004 03:29 pmSo one of the last arguements that I had with my mother had to do with the issue of race. But before I write all of the gruesome details there are some things you should all know
1. I am socially awkward. Awkward enough that when I was fourteen, a guidance counsellor told me to my face that I was feeling lonely and isolated because (and I quote) I was “socially retarded”.
2. Though I’m awkward, I’ve improved a lot. I have a few very close friends that I’ve known from 10 - 20 years.
3. I often put my foot in my mouth. I laugh too loudly, and I often say the wrong things. The people who are my true friends love me because of this not inspite of it.
4. My mother is also very socially awkward - to a much greater degree than I am.
Okay, so back to my story. My mother was telling me that I should start meeting more Trini people and getting to understand Trini culture better. Sure, no problem.
THEN, she started in that I’m far too much like these Canadians and that I have a lot of ways about me that no self-respecting black person would tolerate (for example the way I keep my house) and that I need to learn how to interact with black people. Eh?
So I said to her, “You’re trying to tell me that there’s a black mentality, which I just don’t believe to be the case. I’ve known black people from the Caribbean, from the US, from Africa, from South America, from Europe, and there are massive cultural differences. How can you possibly tell me that there’s a common black mentality? How do you account for personality differences, and individuality?”
Her response, “Fine N*. Don’t listen. This is why you don’t have friends (um...okay?) and this is why you’re going to have trouble in business - it’s because you refuse to learn. You need to learn about the black mentality and about black people if you want to do business with them.”
So I asked her, “What’s so wrong with just trying to connect with people on an individual basis and trying to let them tell me what they value and take it from there? Why do I have to approach them with preconceived notions? As long as I’m not breaking any cultural taboos, what’s so wrong with my approach?”
She didn’t have an answer, but she was reallly pissed off with me. She told me that the discussion was over.
1. I am socially awkward. Awkward enough that when I was fourteen, a guidance counsellor told me to my face that I was feeling lonely and isolated because (and I quote) I was “socially retarded”.
2. Though I’m awkward, I’ve improved a lot. I have a few very close friends that I’ve known from 10 - 20 years.
3. I often put my foot in my mouth. I laugh too loudly, and I often say the wrong things. The people who are my true friends love me because of this not inspite of it.
4. My mother is also very socially awkward - to a much greater degree than I am.
Okay, so back to my story. My mother was telling me that I should start meeting more Trini people and getting to understand Trini culture better. Sure, no problem.
THEN, she started in that I’m far too much like these Canadians and that I have a lot of ways about me that no self-respecting black person would tolerate (for example the way I keep my house) and that I need to learn how to interact with black people. Eh?
So I said to her, “You’re trying to tell me that there’s a black mentality, which I just don’t believe to be the case. I’ve known black people from the Caribbean, from the US, from Africa, from South America, from Europe, and there are massive cultural differences. How can you possibly tell me that there’s a common black mentality? How do you account for personality differences, and individuality?”
Her response, “Fine N*. Don’t listen. This is why you don’t have friends (um...okay?) and this is why you’re going to have trouble in business - it’s because you refuse to learn. You need to learn about the black mentality and about black people if you want to do business with them.”
So I asked her, “What’s so wrong with just trying to connect with people on an individual basis and trying to let them tell me what they value and take it from there? Why do I have to approach them with preconceived notions? As long as I’m not breaking any cultural taboos, what’s so wrong with my approach?”
She didn’t have an answer, but she was reallly pissed off with me. She told me that the discussion was over.
