Somewhere along the line, I became part of the establishment

[mahogany]

I wasn't a perfect teen - far from it, in fact. I cursed and drank and smoked, and stayed out too late, and snuck into nightclubs. Still, I somehow managed to stay aware of my surroundings. If there were children around, I stopped myself from doing those things. It's a courtesy thing, that seems to be sorely lacking in a lot of people, I've noticed. Today, the dh and I were at the park playing frisbee with the kids, and having a great time. There were other young kids there besides ours. Some teenagers showed up and man-oh-man, was their language ever objectionable. It was the f-bomb, here, and OMFG there, with some dumbasses and shits thrown in for good measure. And it was loud. We left.

So now I'm sitting at home fuming. I feel like I should have said something. Why should we leave because of their bad behaviour. Dh feels like I would have embarrassed the kids (not to mention him, I'm sure) by saying something. I dunno. It just seems pretty backward to me. They should have been the ones having to either A) tone down their language, or B) move somewhere else.

[Poll #1170649]

Comments

[gentlemaitresse.livejournal.com]

When my oldest son was 2 (he's now 24), I heard him say "Dammit!" while trying to do something with his Legos. I realized then that I was modeling a style of speech that is particularly offensive when uttered by young children. I changed my ways, never said anything to him, and the word eventually dropped from his vocabulary (until his teens, anyway).

I continue to watch my own language, but I don't make a big deal of what others around us might say. When it has come up, I've explained to my children that it is usually people of a lower class or those with less education who use that type of language regularly. As actors, they might be called upon to speak that way, if they are playing the part of that kind of person.

I have also told them that it is intended to show strong emotion, and I don't say anything about my teens using these words in that way as long as they are not doing it to be hurtful (in which case, as triplep said, words like "stupid" can be just as bad). It's when it is used indiscriminately, as you described, that it loses all meaning.

My children know that many people find certain things offensive, and therefore they should not do those things in front of others in order to be polite. This includes picking your nose, scratching your genitals, or using certain words.

If my own children suddenly chose to use that kind of language on a regular basis, I would question who they were trying to impress and why.