For 2008 I will eliminate the word "deserve" from my vocabulary

[mahogany]

I'm not joking. There is something profoundly disturbing about the word.

We can earn something. We can work toward something. But are we ever truly deserving of anything?

In a world where genocide, and war, and famine still exist how can we still say that we deserve anything good or bad that happens to us?

Deserve

–verb
1. to merit, be qualified for, or have a claim to (reward, assistance, punishment, etc.) because of actions, qualities, or situation: to deserve exile; to deserve charity; a theory that deserves consideration.
–verb (used without object)
2. to be worthy of, qualified for, or have a claim to reward, punishment, recompense, etc.: to reward him as he deserves; an idea deserving of study.

What about people that are dishonest, and crappy to others? Do they deserve happiness, friendship, joy, and material comforts? Some of them appear to have all of that. Do they deserve it?

It used to be that if I worked toward a particular goal, and achieved it, I felt entitled to the benefits that came along with it. After all, I earned it, therefore I deserved it. The two are not the same. I did not realize this until very recently. I've now decided that my thinking was pretty messed up, and symptomatic of a sense of entitlement that has infected society, and that has become a source of profound unhappiness.

So there it is. One of my resolutions for 2008.

Comments

[freakykitten.livejournal.com]

That's interesting. I've worked to eliminate the concept of "deserve" from my vocabulary, but for opposite reasons - I had a pretty bad self esteem problem, and always thought I didn't "deserve" things. I didn't deserve to be happy, to have a good relationship, to be out of debt, to have good things happen to me, etc etc. Quite the bad trip, that.

[ms-cantrell.livejournal.com]

yes. excellent post. we can hope for justice, etc., and we can act as we feel is appropriate to the situation, with retribution or reward... balance all of it out, let it go and hope for karma.

i'll work on that, too.

[soul-korero.livejournal.com]

entitlement is utterly grotesque and repulsive.
i swear, if my kids ever start acting out about what they think they deserve i'm going to whisk them off to the slums in bangkok or manila or similar and live there for an extended period of time.
then, talk to me about what life owes you!

[randomdreams.livejournal.com]

I think everyone deserves life, liberty, and the ability to pursue their dreams as long as they don't infringe on someone else's life. Past that, it's all based on what you've managed to earn through your own efforts.

[annabellissima.livejournal.com]

I couldn't agree more. The growing sense of entitlement among society today is quite selfish and scary.

What you say is so true. None of us "deserve" anything, especially when we take the Christian idea of everything being a gift from God and everything we do being to the glory of God, and not ourselves.