Handshakes

[mahogany]

Today, I taught my daughter how to shake hands. She had been offering up a limp lifeless hand, and I taught her the mechanics of a nice, firm (but not too firm) handshake.

I’ve always thought of a firm handshake as being a friendly, non-verbal way of expressing the senitment, “I’m genuinely pleased to meet you.” Similarly, I often have the nagging feeling that someone really isn’t interested in meeting me when they greet me with a limp handshake. There are exceptions to this, and they appear to be culturally based so I try to make mental adjustments for this, and also adjust my own greeting when I see a limp hand extended toward me in those cases. But outside of those exceptions, a limp handshake doesn’t seem very friendly.

[Poll #927971]

Comments

[moominmama.livejournal.com]

I especially like women who know how to give a firm handshake. Kudos to you for teaching your daughter how to do it right!!!

[mahogany.livejournal.com]

It's funny that you mention this because I'm quite certain it's not my imagination that when I initially meet another woman with a firm handshake, my smile gets just a bit wider, as does hers, and there's a smidgeon of extra connection. There's something in me that thinks, hmmm, I definitely want to know more about her. And I suspect that subconsciously, I've probably elevated my opinion of her.

[tracied.livejournal.com]

YOu know what has always made me crazy? The church ladies wimpy handshake. It's like they think it makes them more feminine or something. I always respond by giving a good squueze! :P

[mahogany.livejournal.com]

Lol! Yes, well, that's where I often run into the cultural differences that I alluded to. If it's a seventy year old lady wearing a mantilla that doesn't speak English that has been brought to church by her grandson, for example, she gets a pass. If it's a thirty-something born and raised in Canada type, they get a good squeeze.

[gentlemaitresse.livejournal.com]

I was at a fetish place in Atlanta and was introduced to THE Domme. She gave me this wimpy little "handshake" with just her fingers, and I just thought it was really stupid. Maybe she thought offering just the fingertips was extra ladylike or something?

Unfortunately, a guy I dated for a while also knows her and he loved her "handshake". Who can figure out men? Bleh.

[gezellig-girl.livejournal.com]

I HATE A JUST-THE-FINGERS HANDSHAKE!

Seriously, it infuriates me to the point of all caps. It's just rude.

[mahogany.livejournal.com]

Oooh, this actually reminds me of something I've been wondering about for a while. I feel another poll coming on...

despise

[tarapaul.livejournal.com]

I do take into account cultural factors but for those North American boys out there, if you give me a wussy handshake, you are telling me you don't respect me. I try not to make snap judgments but a wimpy handshake immediately makes me suspicious and cranky. With women, again, it's cultural and I understand the confusion some women feel as to whether they should seem feminine and delicate or strong and perhaps overly aggressive.
I taught James the handshake skill as I believe it ought to be done - firm but not crushing grip, and one or two pumps that don't rattle the person's teeth. Eye contact. Don't lean in too much. Does that sound about right?

Re: despise

[mahogany.livejournal.com]

Yep, that sounds like the way I generally do it.

And I'm with you on the men with a limp handshake. There's just no excuse, cultural or otherwise for that. I actually find it a bit creepy.