forced invites
Aug. 8th, 2006 01:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mahoganyWhen I was in the sixth grade, one of the girls in my grade threw a huge party and invitied everyone in the grade except me. It was not an oversight. As I’ve mentioned before, I wasn’t exactly a popular gal growing up in redneck Northern Alberta. I still remember it, and although I was pretty upset at the time, it didn’t ruin my life or anything (although, it certainly left enough of a mark that I still remember it). It’s just one of those things that is shitty about small towns.
Apparently, there is a school in New Foundland that has banned party invitations from being handed out on school property for exactly those kinds of reasons. I makes more sense to me than the schools that insist that party invitations be handed out to the entire class, or that Valentine’s Day or Christmas class be handed out to the entire class, or not at all.
For as much as I hated all the bullshit that I went through, I still think it’s absurd to force people to be inclusive. Maybe it’s because I hated being on the receiving end of forced charity even more than I hated being ostracized. It also strikes me as the school infringing on what should be a private matter.
I guess the intent behind it, is to curtail some of the passive aggressive forms of bullying. I understand that the intentions are good. And heaven knows that when my kids are in a situation where they’re just not fitting in, it wounds me so deeply, that it actually causes me physical pain - like a steel band is being tightened around my heart. But still, I believe that people have the right to choose their associates.
Children need our help, but is this the way to do it? Shouldn’t we be teaching our kids to cope with rejection? Shouldn’t we be teaching our kids that it’s extremely mean spirited to exclude just one person when everyone else is invited? Shouldn’t we be teaching our kids to boycott scenarious that are unjust and deliberately designed to hurt one of their peers? How can we teach them all of this if we’re living in an era of forced nicety? What is the answer?
[Poll #788580]
Apparently, there is a school in New Foundland that has banned party invitations from being handed out on school property for exactly those kinds of reasons. I makes more sense to me than the schools that insist that party invitations be handed out to the entire class, or that Valentine’s Day or Christmas class be handed out to the entire class, or not at all.
For as much as I hated all the bullshit that I went through, I still think it’s absurd to force people to be inclusive. Maybe it’s because I hated being on the receiving end of forced charity even more than I hated being ostracized. It also strikes me as the school infringing on what should be a private matter.
I guess the intent behind it, is to curtail some of the passive aggressive forms of bullying. I understand that the intentions are good. And heaven knows that when my kids are in a situation where they’re just not fitting in, it wounds me so deeply, that it actually causes me physical pain - like a steel band is being tightened around my heart. But still, I believe that people have the right to choose their associates.
Children need our help, but is this the way to do it? Shouldn’t we be teaching our kids to cope with rejection? Shouldn’t we be teaching our kids that it’s extremely mean spirited to exclude just one person when everyone else is invited? Shouldn’t we be teaching our kids to boycott scenarious that are unjust and deliberately designed to hurt one of their peers? How can we teach them all of this if we’re living in an era of forced nicety? What is the answer?
[Poll #788580]
