That is the best thing you can do for them. I was at a ministry conference last weekend, and in a session on "marriage, family, and ministry" a woman was talking about her son, who is 16, in a goth band (though she never quite managed to say the word "goth"), and she's terrified that although he's on the straight and narrow now that he'll get into drugs etc (because all his bandmates are, or kids who wear black do drugs, or whatever it was that was concerning her). I told her that, based on my experiences, what parents do isn't so much about teaching their kids not to make mistakes - it's setting the foundation so that no matter what, their kids have an anchor to return to. I really believe that, mostly because that's how it worked for me. I had a pregnancy scare once when I was a teenager, and while the doctor and I were waiting for the result, he asked me if I'd get any support from home if I actually was pregnant. Despite knowing that my parents would have absolutely hit the roof, I said honestly, "Of course!" He raised an eyebrow at me, and I said, "Well, they'll calm down, and then it will be fine."
I don't work at all, in the wage-earning sense. However I do volunteer regularly with an organisation called Rosies. Generally I do street outreach, but every year I do a week (this year, two weeks!) full-time over Schoolies Week, which is in late November.
So I work with youth as I come across them on street outreach (though of course there are teenage/early twenties volunteers on the team I lead, but there are as many older people as youth there). I used to also do Youth Detention Centre (juvie) visitation (also with Rosies), and I'd like to pick that up again if I can. The majority of the youth work I do though is during Schoolies Week, and most of it is spent holding emesis bags, rubbing backs, and holding hair out of the way. Oh, and reassuring these kids that they're not actually going to die, even though they'll wish they had in the morning. ;)
During Schoolies Week, I see teens at their best and at their worst, often at the same time - the kid who's taken drugs or whatever and really isn't coping, and their sober mate who'll spend all night sitting with them instead of having fun, even though we're there. The very worst cases, though, are always the ones where the teenager/s in question refuse to call home for help, because they know they won't get any. And that's the saddest stuff of all - most parents will come to collect their teenager if we call them, and generally they're just glad that their kid is okay. It's scary how often kids are right, though - meaning their parents have no sympathy whatsoever, and say something like "well, they made their bed, they can lie in it". When we're talking about seventeen year olds, it's really serious stuff.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2006-07-03 07:46 am (UTC)I don't work at all, in the wage-earning sense. However I do volunteer regularly with an organisation called Rosies. Generally I do street outreach, but every year I do a week (this year, two weeks!) full-time over Schoolies Week, which is in late November.
So I work with youth as I come across them on street outreach (though of course there are teenage/early twenties volunteers on the team I lead, but there are as many older people as youth there). I used to also do Youth Detention Centre (juvie) visitation (also with Rosies), and I'd like to pick that up again if I can. The majority of the youth work I do though is during Schoolies Week, and most of it is spent holding emesis bags, rubbing backs, and holding hair out of the way. Oh, and reassuring these kids that they're not actually going to die, even though they'll wish they had in the morning. ;)
During Schoolies Week, I see teens at their best and at their worst, often at the same time - the kid who's taken drugs or whatever and really isn't coping, and their sober mate who'll spend all night sitting with them instead of having fun, even though we're there. The very worst cases, though, are always the ones where the teenager/s in question refuse to call home for help, because they know they won't get any. And that's the saddest stuff of all - most parents will come to collect their teenager if we call them, and generally they're just glad that their kid is okay. It's scary how often kids are right, though - meaning their parents have no sympathy whatsoever, and say something like "well, they made their bed, they can lie in it". When we're talking about seventeen year olds, it's really serious stuff.